Beloved - Emrys

November 2017

It’s raining outside. I listen to the patter of the rain but I don’t look. I keep my eyes closed. The rhythm is soothing. I feel my heart matching the ticks of the clock.

My memory flashes and I remember my heart matching the beep of the machine. I hear a countdown and then I feel the jolt.

My eyes snap open and I’m screaming.The sweat on my forehead drips into my eyes and my body is shaking. I look around the room for the doctors, but I am alone. It takes me a few moments more to realize I am in my room. I begin to recall that it’s been seven days since testing began.

The doctors have come to get me seven times since the first incident in the night. Each time they hook me up to the machine and induce the electric shock. Each time I become increasingly unsure why they are testing. Each time I forget a little more.

The faerie, Merigold, is with me every time. She is not here are the moment, but I remember her being there when I’m with the doctors.

I lean back in my bed, panting and shaking. I feel tears at the edges of my eyes but I don’t want them to escape. Soon this fear will pass. I know it will. Soon the waning moon will come. I keep telling myself this so I don’t forget. I can’t forget.

The beat of the rain lulls me back into a calm. I eventually sit up and gaze out the window.

The rain makes the garden look a shade of grey. The leaves have mostly dropped from the trees and cover the garden in a blanket of orange and red. They tell me that fall is beginning to fade. I wish I could smell the air during the rain. It must be different than the sun. I wonder what it feels like to be in the rain. Is it the same as a shower?

The garden lights up for a brief moment, leaves reflect the light as if a hidden sun has come out. Three heartbeats later a rumbling thunder rips the silence. I can feel the thunder through the window frame as I lean against it. I wonder why it thunders?

Some faeries like the rain and the thunder. I occasionally see them outside on these days. They like the zip between the bushes and catch the raindrops as they run. These faeries don’t have wings. They often let their hair hang loose too, dripping with water as they dance.

Merigold will be back soon. I can’t recall why she left, but she’ll come back with my next meal. Until then, I run through what she’s told me about the faerie magic within me.

Your magic is connected to your feelings. You can think anything and direct the energies of the world to alter it as you see it. Words can help you focus this change, make it more direct.

I didn’t understand.

When you said I’M not hurt in the doctor's office and the doctor felt his stomach, he hurt. Your use of the word hurt while you thought about your hand and the magic caused him to hurt.

I see.

Good. So, you can use words to say what you’re thinking and make it stronger. You can also use gestures.

Gestures?

Your hand movements. I taught you to open your hand to cast your magic.

Yes, I see.

But there are other movements. These movements also help direct the energies you are controlling. This helps make your spell stronger.

Ok. I think I get it.

Now do the movements with me.

I had copied her motions until the sweat dripped from my face. Not moving in so long had made the simplest of movements seem very difficult. She had also drilled me on the kinds of faeries and what they liked. She said this was related to the powers they each held. If I knew what faerie could do what, later I could focus my magic on the power that each faerie had.

It was hard to keep focus though, even though she was patient with me. My mind felt like it wasn’t always there and I often found myself forgetting her instruction after she had just told me.

Merigold has become worried about me. I saw it in her face before she left today, before I drifted off to sleep. She told me she had to go but she’d be back. I feel bored without her here.

I let my mind wander as I gaze out at the rain. I listen to the thunder and I think about the magic and how I can effect the things around me. I wish I could practice, but the gloves are restricting.

My mind slips and I stare out at the garden, smiling as the faeries dash in the rain. “Wait for me” I whisper. “Wait for me.”

#Fantasy #Magic